Haunted by ghost

Why do you haunt me why cant you just leave me alone wait no i am alone and the feeling attached is like a hole in my chest but why am i scared why do i like to suffer in the darkness maybe because the only feeling ive ever felt is emptiness and pain im scared to change why do i stay frozen in time with the memory of you when i know you wont change your gone forever and yet i still feel mixed singals of love and hate i just wanna delete you why cant i just start over again theres something wrong with me i cant do this

Sad when i wish death on my family

Not only do i have to slave work on my own home but then i gotta do work at my mothers house and she will pay me what one or two hundred and she gets like over 3thousand a month since my aunt died and i have to goto work for money which is less then minimum wage  grub hub junk i just wish she die i like when my family members die i get a check and im sick of goingto welfare every two months when its supposed to be once ayear and they want me to work 20 hrs a week just to have food stamps only or ill just fucking starve too bad my pussy is so fucked up i cant even stand on the corner because im sick very 😠

July2,2019

I had to throw a comma in there cause well it didnt look like that right date so yeah it is now. What to talk about 😲 omg thats cool so umm had a great time at ac not air conditioning ac as in atlantic city. Spent the week there drinking smoking so much freedom no one to tell you no you cant do this that just live your fucking life right. You know it made me happy because the warped tour was there and theres was tons of people and well without that id go crazy everyone was really nice to me they made me feel not alone. I just wish i could feel even closer to something to really connect with life and everything. I had fun at the boardwalk resturants swimming casinos the only part of the week that was boring was swimming alone until after like an hour ryan finally gave up on not getting in the water and got in with me. And im sad now because im back at home where life isnt what i ..doesnt make me happy.. But ill be leaving again soon so ive just been cleaning and watching netflix black mirror which was umm not sure how to explain those things that keep happening to me. Anyhow enough of those damn signs. Im watch a bit more tv and start doing other things.