don't blind me no more

I'm still here without a beginning without you I wish you was around to be apart of my timeline. I wanna make a history where are you hiding? It just feels like all I do is search and it's endless .. a sense of belonging... Acceptance a simple conversation and an experience of something more. I want to feel worthy and valued. Set me free from my lonely prison. Show me what it's like to share, care, to be there. To be a part of something more then my idle time here. Reach into my darkness and pull me out into the light. Help me smile again sing your heart out to me help me shine. Is it all my destiny? Will it happen before it's too late? Or do I have wait,,wait until this world is over? Don't make me wait another day show me what it means to live again. Save me from the emptiness I hold inside and give me purpose...

addiction

So I have discovered that even if I quit all my addictions that "they" say is bad for me. The end result is that it didn't change my life. I'm still endorsing the same lifestyle. Nothing even matters. I don't care anymore I'm sick of doing what you want while your happy but I'm Not seeing any change with me. I'll do whatever you ask of me but still it doesn't help me. I'm still hopeless. If anything now I have zero to look forward to everyday. 

last prayer to godzside

Calling out to the heavens waiting for an experience as I travel into the unknown I carry the weight of loosing. Searching for a realtionship a magic moment in time where it continues I to the next day.. I have this erge to blossom because I've never been given growth. I wanna lift the veil from my eyes show me something new. Can I put you into my sights my moments in time like a moving picture frame. I'm calling out to the heavens again calling out for progress, change, enlightenment. End my suffering kill the silence give me hope for the future. Save my soul help me make my dreams a reality. I call upon the heavens where it's all inside my head it's a dream that's where I find you. I've become a ghost even to myself. I've been communicating with the heavens again and the gods are not responding, but then again they did said I am God. I have choices but I can't do them on my own alone. I need access to a schedule, time, space, place, and people. Without this I drift right back into that black hole of silence never ending. Where are you it's like I'm going death and blind at the same time. I'm calling out to the heavens and I need to know what is this message I'm supposed to receive? Who am I, where am I going, will the daily silence ever end? As day turns into night and the hands of time change I'll be right here still waiting for my beginning with you. I feel so disconnected from my own humanity please save me. Let me live with what I'm living without.