shh happy thoughts rhymes

You are my sunshine my only sunshine you make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know just how much I love you please don't take my sunshine away. I still burn for you like the sun burns in the sky I still burn for you. Up in flames up in flames light a match and burn it to my name. 

Your the brightest star in the sky burning light into my life.

Omg am I going crazy? Creating fantasy again. As I sit here and the tears rolled down my face my new favorite song is sky to earth. Maybe I'm cursed because I didn't mean to electricify or shock you I didn't mean to hurt you it felt like it was the second time. All I do is constantly harm. Why must I keep non-intenially harming you. There seems to be no recovery from this heartache maybe I should just give up. 

march15

I'm very upset how long will it take? I'm sick and tired of growing old here without any beginning and it's like I'm always left on the back burner. I'm so sick and tired of waiting for my turn. So today in school the guest was from a company I've tired to get into for the past year, but it's like I'm always playing the waiting game. I'm also sick of going to school and watching other students younger then I get a start or as they say foot in the door. Then they All disappear. All I got was a business card. I got so angry because I know when I go back home it's just endless silence again. I did however got to throw in there I'll take any position. Then I thought too myself yeah I'm that tired and desperate. This other student wouldn't shut up about his new job and I was getting mad cause I'm trying to fix myself. Then the damn teacher wouldn't shut up. It's like I'm always pushed aside to wait enternity. And all this happened after class when I thought I'd have a moment to speak but of course they they are cutting me out again. I'm feeling so low again and I started crying. 

update

So I decided to just buy a truck and now I have to wait until it arrives. I've just been looking at campers and health/life/travel insurances. The good thing about this is I can hitch whatever I want with a truck. Later if I decide to get a boat I can put that on the back. Plus, it be nice to have the truck just by itself when I don't need to tow anything. 

seeking vehicle

Searching for a new ride so I decided to buy an RV. I went to camping world and wasn't happy with what they had at that location. The hunt will still continue. 

sad again

Started looking at some stuff online and than remembered that I can't see anything

 I'm going blind. Then I thought about what if I got in my car and followed a band around, but then I start to cry again because I realize that I couldn't ever see what happens between these locations. Plus I'm just so disconnected from everything and everyone. My reality is a mess I am a mess and I don't think it'll ever change. Everyone will always be unreal and I am the reject. Still crying because I'm forever stuck in the fan zone. I guess I'll never get out of this. I'm so broken. 💔.

again I'm m not getting anywheres

So I went to Columbiaain event for an interview with this guy named Kyle and he said he would only hire for tips and the hour pay would be 3.33. I told him that sounds illegal it's under minimum wage so I guess I'll have to apply some place else. Now I'm trying to find out more information about wages. Here's the site dol.gov. I still don't see where this stuff would be legal. 

upset again

My son got a job at the warehouse a few weeks back went there one day and then quit. Then he gets a good paying job at Harris teeter does training and quits that job. I can't even get hired for any jobs I apply for; he keeps leaving jobs that he gets accepted in. I'm really sick of this isn't not fair that he has to keep hurting me and himself this way. Well tomorrow there's a job interview for us both to go on. I really wish he'd stop upsetting me.