The question is

How will i learn how to adjust to a neverchanging life? how will i end the pain when will i get better so i can get out of here will it ever end? But how i end the sickness for good? I think thats where the problem is this keeps me indoors stuck for too long i need to break free im not sure if i can adjust to this hell and learn to keep with the sadness even if its been here all the time how will i not go insane?

Falling apart

Never thought it would come to this your turning me into the disaster i didnt need im crying in the silence everyday the only emotion i can feel is pain and suffering i cant see the light its too dark here ghosts would he better then this endless wanting waiting for communication ive enflicked pain with more pain because i can't dig myself out of this hole i wanna sleep but i have short rest and nightmares im sick so sick of trying to cope on my own i dont wanna end it all but you make me so angry because thats all you can give me why does this never change it happens all the time its like no matter where i turn i cant fit into its outcasting me or giving me just a small taste before it yanks away without reason no goodbyes ive grown so tired so envious and bitter when the voices tell me i have to go and it's just the beginning it doesnt matter what i do who i am where i go in the end im still frozen over nothing will melt this not even with time im just the living dead im still traped in this textbox suffocating becoming more mute by the minute why cant i escape it why cant i feel happy why am i falling apart why do i have to rely on the acceptance of others with like minded attitude and why am i so slow and left behind still waiting seeking but not finding any hope just another way to suffer is it me am i doing something wrong tell me what i can do to make this right

Ost

Mode death life crooked
What the hell i dunno what happened
Anybow my hands hurt so much
I cant get out bed it sucks i got me some orange shock top and cant find my dairy i forget where i put it i feel like a dirtball im sick of eatting fruit
Im sick of being sick i can't see in the darkness where the light its so quiet again it never ends i can only hear the text and the sounds of where the other animals go oh i dunno if i can get outta here trapped inside this box feels like im pulling at glue i cant undo that is a creepy movie when you stab the box the people inside could see the walls bleed stuck unable to breathe release go cut yourself out when how where who what the helll i cant find it ok sick of this is  wut before thats the worst feeling in the world disconnected void longing endless hell is a frozen frame and the secondhand doesn't move no more i miss the sunshine the warm the false feeling of what is real and what's not im going to have to do something else this isnt working for me