the answers to life

no friends, family, or job leads to christina this is who I've always been and always will be. email contacts zero. yes I'm always online everyday asking other people who they are or what they are doing then i say I'm bored I'm not doing anything but yeah I'm doing everything all by myself. I cook alone, I clean alone, I raise a child alone, and everything else. Why I haven't traveled because I've never had the connections or the start to be able to experience anything in life. The only thing I've ever had was and still is my writing. There's so much I haven't experienced in life because I choose to not go at it alone. Here I still wait for the start but there's nothing here. When I wake up each and everyday I don't go outside. I don't look for a beginning because I don't know how or where to go. I thought well I could try to go someplace new on my own but I feel like if I did it would be nice while I'm there but then I'd still have to come home and when that happens well its even pointless to just go anyplace at all. I never do anything for myself I always do what other people invite me to do. Sometimes I think of myself to be a slave. I don't even go to the park on my own i'd have to have a invite to do that or I'd just sit around the house like i always do playing video games or watching tv. I did go get bikes on my own but my son doesn't ever wanna ride it with me and because i have no one to ride it with I never get on it. I just keep waiting and dream for friends who would like to do stuff with me. I'm not sure what else to say but I know I've said these lines over and over again most of my life. What's wrong with me why am I not happy when will things change for me? I'm tired of saying that. I know the answer there's no connection.