Falling apart

Never thought it would come to this your turning me into the disaster i didnt need im crying in the silence everyday the only emotion i can feel is pain and suffering i cant see the light its too dark here ghosts would he better then this endless wanting waiting for communication ive enflicked pain with more pain because i can't dig myself out of this hole i wanna sleep but i have short rest and nightmares im sick so sick of trying to cope on my own i dont wanna end it all but you make me so angry because thats all you can give me why does this never change it happens all the time its like no matter where i turn i cant fit into its outcasting me or giving me just a small taste before it yanks away without reason no goodbyes ive grown so tired so envious and bitter when the voices tell me i have to go and it's just the beginning it doesnt matter what i do who i am where i go in the end im still frozen over nothing will melt this not even with time im just the living dead im still traped in this textbox suffocating becoming more mute by the minute why cant i escape it why cant i feel happy why am i falling apart why do i have to rely on the acceptance of others with like minded attitude and why am i so slow and left behind still waiting seeking but not finding any hope just another way to suffer is it me am i doing something wrong tell me what i can do to make this right