forever remaining broken

There's something wrong with me.  Not unique I'm not special I am only apart of nothing. All I can feel everyday is my tears pain and the punching of myself. How long will I not be saved? I've tired churches, therapy, etc in the past none proven to be successful. When I try to be honest and alert with what is real all I do is end up broken. I try to express what I'm going through but no one is truly listening or understanding or giving a shit about it. Why won't you fix me? What's wrong with me and why won't it ever change? Why does it always remain the same? Why won't you show me what's it's like to actually care, make a memory, communication, friendship, love, work. Why do all I ever feel is denial? How come I can't be honest about this and have someone pick up my broken pieces? Will this last forever? Will I ever stop? What's wrong with me?