Why is it that all i ever do is write why arent i living? Wheres my life headed i cant keep turning these damn pages i dont wanna read or write your story when will i live mines? I still feel frozen broken outcasted like im sitting at the starting line but i cant move like no one else is playing the game with you so you can never start so how the hell do i make chapter one? And now im sick with this damn die diesese its holding back from the beginning of my story. It started with silience and and a wall less prision with the sickness why couldnt you change? Why couldnt you leave? I see without you im dying alone i cant live like this. Theres no memory of what was or will be because you chose to sit in the house alone with the sickness. Still not sure where to even go with this even if i leave while being sick theres still nowhere to go unless i go back to the past and see the family i havent seen over a year everyone has changed but i feel like i havent time has not been good for me but them it has and i guess thats why i don't wanna visit them they are okay and im not. And i know its not good to keep hanging around the broken and sick like me family. How the hell am i supposed to change? I cant go back or foward in life im just stuck here with the damn text again over and over again never ending. I was okay alone it was where at the problem is that. I need to start an story to do so i need to leave explore a new place to move to so i can start a new story. My photo album that i got from the ocean i never placed any pictures in it that what i need to do. So if i ever get better health there i go waiting again im going to fill that damn album.
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