missing the point

There's so much I'm going to miss out on. The emptiness will be the only thing that will be an constant remains. I give up today I promise to never open my heart again. I'm told to learn to respect boundaries what does it mean. Never feel anything ever again. To just watch everyone else in life be happy. While I remain broken. Just remain non existent. My time and age is wasting away anyhow so why should I even care. Maybe I should just bury myself in a fantasy of the afterlife. In another life where I could have blossomed with love and happiness where we could be a family. Where we can share things we enjoy together. I guess it'll always remain a dream of doing things we love together unless there is some other world I need to enter to find that. I also think it could be the simplist of things no matter how big or small. I wish I could find that alignment in the stars. Instead of what it could be.. it should be what should be... I hate this one-sided feeling. It's like saying know your place. Makes me feel so trapped. I wish you had the time to care. I wish I could have given you the world. I wish I had that connection. I wish I could have shared more information, but there's always that terrible non realistic thing in the way. And you can't tell me that love doesn't fix problems I think it could. I just haven't been able too. Oh I get what boundaries means now just remember stuck in the fan zone. Not the friends zone not the love zone just the damn fan zone. Wow that hurts okay so goodbye humanity.