careless

 I'm not feeling good I'm sad I've been feeling like this for over 20 years. Why am I here whats my purpose?
 who should I be? where should I go? This is the end because nothing ever changes for me. I never get an answer or any response it's like talking to god you'll never get an answer from the invisible never there people. All i know is I'm alone I'll always be alone and nothing will ever change. I'll never find happiness with anyone and I'll never go to work. I haven't been for over 13 years what makes you think I ever will? I can answer that well it all depends on your connections in life and thats what I always lacking. Hows your brother hows your sister or your best friend? I wouldn't know I have no experience with any of this have you ever traveled outside the state? Nope no family vacations ever take place with me. I wish I was born into a different life like a disney family. I see big open windows at home with loving family who help each other and travel and they are very supportive with each other. Here's something no one knows about me when people are around me im okay when they aren't I have a hard time getting out of bed. I don't go anywhere or do anything but sit here and feel sad day after day. If I had anyone around me I wouldn't ever say this they would never know. What is wrong with me was I not made for honesty respect and friendship?