rage

Angry why because he ate almost a whole big big bag of nuts then he said the fuck work then locked himself in his room. Then why I go crazy I upset and miserable and hate my life. I thought back to what me and my kid do together and I'm always miserable and yelling about something why can't act 13 instead of an 2 year old. The only thing I trust him with is my make my life a living hell. The only shared memories with him are us arguing me yelling and crying. I can't think of one time where we actually got along and did anything. Maybe I'm upset because I've been stuck in this apartment too long alone? Well even if I was he doesn't make it any better. All I see him as is a fat pig thats a slob very dirty. I just feel trapped and miserable. He won't even treat me right. I dont care I'm just sit here and talk to myself. I want to die I try to put my hands around my throat but then after i feel that tight pull where it starts to hurt i stop i don't fully keep going. I hit myself in the face with my fist too sometimes.