misery

what being sad means to me everyday waking up with no purpose in life. Not having anyone to talk to just endless silence. Having zero talent at anything at all. Unable to change anything. Not being able to answer this question: Name one life changing event in your life? not having any experience in many things in life people take for granted. Why won't I change because it's too hard has no help. Same reason I choose not to work for money too stressful too many to take everything away from me. Where do I expect to go no place and nowhere. I'm a horrible parent. I have no friends. what can i say that's good about me? I'm a good person because i keep myself locked inside so others can abuse or hurt me? is that what i'm good at? I'm bored all I wanna do is sleep. I have no passion to do anything. I'm sick of yelling at my kid for eating too much or being dirty. I'm tired of cleaning. I don't want to do anything anymore. I'm sick of putting clothes away I hardly even change mines. I figure what's the point I'm not going anyplace no one sees me, but yet I'm the one who has to fold them and put them away. I complain about getting fat but all i do is sit here and eat. I'm bored i dunno what else to say. Thinking back I wrote these same words over and over again years before and guess what its still the same thing no changes. Maybe I am just a miserable person who just can't ever find anything happy to write about. okay so maybe I could think of one good saturday thing I could say but it only happens every so often not how I feel everyday. So where is my savior?