dear corna..

Virus or no virus I'm stuck here in this hell house. I've already been living an antisocial life for 15 plus years now. Here you are telling me 6 feet away or 6 ft burried under. I kinda wish I was an animal. I still see people outside walking their pets. I just keep thinking I wish I could go back to when there wasn't no sickness. Other people are finding it hard to breathe and I'm finding it hard to wake up from day to day. There's no purpose here all alone dying deadly. If they opened beaches in other states does that mean we can travel? How do you even get into the water with a face mask on? Everything is supposed to be shut down but you can have a beer it's essential. Minium wage your essential works some say sacafical. I on the other hand would rather die then to have to work under these conditions. Not like I ever had a real job anyways. Not like I don't already suffer from social disease. I see you people all grouped up with your friends, loved ones, even animals. Here I am covid or no covid nothing changes I remain the same. Sometimes I wish I couldn't breathe when I think about the dead fish smell or the ozzing like a zombie and the blood. I get so dizzy can't sleep can't focus on tomorrow. I need to get out of here and explore, move, change end this hell. It feels like but instead I'm just sitting here waiting. Waiting on the virus to end waiting for the world to change. Waiting for a new life to take place. I hate waiting fuck that; how can I live when we are dying how can I live life like it's my last day on Earth without feeling incomplete?