invisibly of poverty

This injustice shouldn't be allowed to exist with all the non profits and acenices there are all over the world. I have no socail security and im still waiting on a status change will I get it or not? Looks like im need a lawyer so I applied  for welfare and well they are telling me in order to recieve cash for my basic cash flow of survial that you can only get it from having a child under 18 years of age. So the socail worker gave me a medical form to fill out by an doctor. The dermotogilst said he wouldnt fill it out ask my primary doctor to do it. My primary doctor says she won't do as well. So im sitting here in the school parking lot trying to get my grub hub app to make me not enough money for living expenses. I still have swores all over me but I still continue to try my best to stay active. I just sick of not having any support system that works. Im falling back into my depression once again. But yet my damn doctor gets paid everytime I visit them or they wont see me. Same issues with school no one sees anyone without a payment. No one I dont see anyone in the whole wide world im so fucking angry. So whatever statics are out there about economic incomes are all fucking lies because where I'm from it says howard county gets 100k per year and I dont get that not even close. Something needs to change. I am the invisibly poverty. Alone in the darkness kept on mute for far too long. No one cares if I live or die. I feel like I dont even get it from my family. Ive learned to only trust no one but myself because no one else in life will help you acheive any amount of income so why so I even keep going to the doctors? And who pays for the humira shots take they keep sending me? Are they even helping me or killing me? Also whats going to happen with my sons future? He's 19 years old now. Will he be able to make his own or will he fall into the same endless cycle as me. I hope he doesn't inhert the same problems I have. He doesn't have the physical attritubes I have which is good. He has same socail problems but he doesn't have to pay bills living at home with mommy. I wish he was more independent. So he doesnt fall islocated frozen in the same time period. Why am I not localized or globalized all I do is waste time trying to climb a mountain that has no resources provided to get me to the top. This phone still hasnt gone off i guess no one wants their food delivered. I need to find another outlet. I know I can count school out because they say im the problem that I don't show that I am ready. I guess not when no one has structurally involed me to move on from this. I am worthless to my local self and to the world as a whole. All I can do now is hope that I get a scholarship to travel out of this state because im so sick of this place. I need to live work and think om a larger scale of soceity.