I used to think...

When I was younger I used to think I'd be happy if I had my own home all I ever wanted was a house. Then later I got one and I was happy for a bit then I wanted more. I was told if I got a job I'd be happy so I did and I was still left unhappy. Then I started getting sicker and sicker. Where am I at now? I don't know what it takes to be happy anymore. I used to think I had experience with realtionship but I never have. I did marry a guy I only knew his dick and had a kid which made me a single mom. Then I had another guy I knew his dick and it made me a killer. I've never had a boyfriend I'm now 39 years old and still nothing has changed. I've tried church. I'm not sure what will make me normal, buy at least I'm now texting the truth. I've never had a bridesmaid or even a friend to hangout at the mall with what r friends?