still sad

My time is very patient and everlasting but the memories are very short lived some even fade away into nothing. Some remain but are a moment that has long past. The more I open eyes to reality the less I want of it. It's easier to just dream away. Pretending I've had more conversation past the paper. Too bad there isnt ink in this or I'd run it dry. My reality needs to be more connected. From day to day I'm not sure how to even found a sentence anyone. I'm becoming scattered. Why can't I talk about something other then my own tears? Why must I keep fighting a battle I'm never winning. What will happen when I surrender?