just do it...

Okay I'm so to talk about my biggest fear but in order to do that I have to talk about my dreams because they both are a combination of truth that I won't ever speak out of  my mouth. And why is that? Because I haven't found it. But still I wonder What would happen if I could become fearless? 

First my biggest fear is that I will remain sick and alone with this diesase forever and it will kill me. Second, my fears are that I won't ever reach my dreams or goals. That I won't ever experience what is like to have one best friend or group of friends. The silence will kill me or will it just keep me in a damn textbox. Fourthy, I fear that I will not ever have my fanasty family that I've always dreamed about. And my fifth fear would be spiders. Six that I will never change no matter what or where I go...

Okay so maybe I came over some of these obstickiles but still....

These fears remain I will not show my true self to anyone and if I finally find a place to fit in that I fuck it all up. My overall biggest dream and fear is that four letter word Love. I don't wanna be a ball and chain. I just need to feel emotional freedom to express myself and accepted for myself. Another fear is I'll never be able to express or show myself to anyone else or no one will ever read this. It's like there's never any feedback and I'm talking to myself or a ghost. There's no purpose for me and that will kill me. I just need a reason to leave this situation. I can put myself in that concesiness but still thats just me solo and there's still that emptiness that keeps me awake.