alone powerless

So now it's a lot of white mocus smaller amounts of blood. The doctor said I need another colonoscopy done. I don't understand why, when I had the other two why couldn't they diagnose it back then. I'm supposed to get another MRI on my pelvis again. I had one done like 2 years ago and they couldn't tell me anything. So I have to wait until March to get all this testing done. My dermatologist tired to put me on stelara, but insurance company denied it. They are trying to appeal it. I think it's because I started asking questions like can I get an income for this. I've looked online and found some information about this BioLife thing where they pay people for plasma so I've decided I'll try that since everything else is going to shit. I had a phone interview with a local store and was told they are looking over interviews and maybe they will call wait a week. I've been having a hard time filling my schedule, handling stress, finding a income, dealing with this ibs, etc. It seems like no matter what I do I'm just doomed. I get so mad when I read these books for a class I'll never get approved to work in. This semester I only have one class production and it's only an hour long. My son starts his first job at work today. At least he's doing good, so now I'm need me a new car. He still gets a nasty attitude with me and makes me mad. I have no comfort provided for me. I try to get my mind off of things by the TV usage but sometimes it doesn't even help it just makes me hurt even more. I read this article about IBS and it says have a diet plan and mental health I'll probably get denied that service too. I'll have to wait until March to ask a doctor since my primary only does telephone they scheduled me another doctor. I'm sorry, but I stopped hanging out with my aunt because of this as well so now I suffer social isolation. I just felt like I've inherited this my mom and aunt had these types of problems. but they received social security I can't  because due to lack of work credits. I tried a lawyer no success. I was exercising at home I bought a yoga ball and a belt that zaps me, but now I feel like I can't use them no more. I would pay for a program but I'm afraid I won't have enough to pay for basic needs and house taxes if I have a subscription fee every month to a gym. I used to swim at the schools gym, but I can't do that no more because the building is being remodeled. I'm still waiting for a therapist to call me back about scheduling so I can attend that. No big surprise I can't donate blood because of low blood iron. So Ive found a people sharing information on Facebook that says the same problems I have and one that says there's a place in India that can help. https://www.healinghandsclinic.co.in/blog/category/fissure/amp/

So now I see that people are talking in Facebook groups. That hidradenitis suppurativa is all bs. The real problem is Anal Fissure or chorns disease/UC. 

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10151-011-0769-2