when it hurts again

There's no light it's all never ending time consuming everything and it just leaves me blinded. I can't see any changes being made. I'm just talking.g to myself. It feels like hell and theres no way out. Why did you do this? Severed from my own humanity. There's no purpose no hope for tomorrow or today. It doesn't matter what I go or what I do because you don't care your with her and not me. It was never meant for me and it hurts. I remain broken unrepaired and damaged. I'm going blind to life. I can't see anything it just all remains the same with change to my heart. It's pushed me to my breaking point. Now I see that death is all that remains for any type of change. It hurts to think of you out there with her and not me. I thought you was searching and waiting for me like I've been doing with you endlessly. Please stop this pain.