The longing

I'm still here without a beginning without you. I wish you was around to be a part of my life. Be a part of my timeline. I wanna make history where are you hiding? It just feels like all I do is search and it's endless... For a sense of direction a sense of belonging... Acceptance a simple conversation or experience of something more. I wanna feel worthy of value. Can I be special to you? Set me free from my lonely prison. Show me what is it to share, care, and be a part of something bigger then myself. Give me something other then this idle time here walking along in this planet earth. Reach into my darkness and pull me into the light. Help me smile again. Sing your heart out help me shine. Is it all destiny? Will happen before it's too late? Or will I have to wait until the world is over? Don't wait me wait another day. Show me what it means to live again. Save me from the emptiness inside and give me purpose. What is personal? What is it like out there in the unknown? I guess I'll never know everything just sounds like I don't know how... How to get out of this broken home. I wish I could ride with you. Think about 5 minutes 5 years... In my tears for years I see that nothing which never changes my physical, mental, and social life is resulting into a nothing which leads to a death. Will it kill me at age 55? Am I running outta time? My physic abilities are not showing me what's ahead. What happens if I listen to everyone and nothing changes? What if I obey everything and still nothing changes? Will I just remain on mute to everyone and everything forever? I'm so sick of the outside. Will I ever be invited to the inside??