denied never obtained

I'm scared of my own destiny. I'm not sure even if it's going to be a good one. The hands of time are not in my favor. I'm so tired of crying each and everyday. Always waiting for a new beginning. I know life is supposed to have it's ups and downs, but why am I always feeling like I'm on an endless search only to find more tears in my eyes? Why can't I just have an experience? Why can't I just talk, walk, share, take photos, create a story with you? Where are you? Why must I do everything in solo? Please save me. It doesn't matter where I go, but whom I'm with it makes all the difference. Who can give that common connection that feeling? The nysc feeling we are one. Give and take from me. Show me a brighter day. Help me break free from fantasy and live a reality.